Body Count

Hi everyone, if you enjoyed ladies discussion on ‘Rendezvous’ last week, you should not  miss them today. I’d like to know what y’all think about today’s topic, so keep the comments coming. See you next week Thursday.


photoThe four ladies sat at the departure lounge of the Abuja airport, waiting for the 9.00am Arik flight back to Lagos. It was a cold Sunday morning, and they had spent the previous Saturday partying at Jennifer’s cousin’s wedding ceremony. Tinuke had snuggled up to Lande since they arrived at the airport trying to keep warm from the cold harmattan draft fueled by the central air conditioners. Jennifer looked keenly at Eguono , who seemed lost in deep thoughts while staring at her phone. The cold did not seem to penetrate her soft, light skin.

“Aren’t you cold? Just seating there staring at your phone.”

“I am actually cold, but this scripture has got me thinking.” Eguono’s shivered.

“Let me see.” Lande grabbed the phone and glanced at it for a second.

“Jennifer should be the one reading this, not me.” Lande laughed wryly.

“Stupid…what is in there? Okay, read it out for everyone.” Jennifer hissed.

“Thou shalt have zero body-count, before marriage in order to preserve your body.” Lande kicked Jennifer playfully in the leg.

“Keep reading rubbish. Is that a scripture?” Tinuke quipped.

“It is a remix. If I were to write the bible in my own words, that will be my exact interpretation.” Lande looked across all her friends. “Seriously…and I will pay particular attention to people like Jennifer.”

Jennifer brought out her make-up items and a small mirror from her handbag, pretending to be unaware of Lande’s words.

Tinuke straightened, grabbed the phone from Lande and read out loud.

“Flee fornication. Every sin a man doeth is out of his body. Madam remix, thank you. But this is how the bible puts it originally.”

“Hold on guys…this is the third or fourth time I am hearing about body-count . How does it relate to fornication?” Eguono wrapped her scaff around her neck.

“No offence, but who uses the word fornication these days. Can we stick to the word sex? We will flow better, abeg.” Lande rolled her eyes around.

“It’s Sunday morning. Can I get an Amen?”

“Amen. Sex. Why not? Okay,back to my question. What is body count?” Eguono tapped Lande.

“In simple terms, body-count is the number of men a woman has slept with , and it could be vice versa.” Lande points discreetly at a group of guys walking across the lobby.

“One..two..three…four…five…so if Jennifer has sex with all these guys, we can safely say she has a  body-count of five.” She docked when one of the young men turned in their direction.

“How does the scripture relate to Jennifer?” Tinuke spoke from underneath Lande’s arms.

“I’d swear her body count would be close to thirty.” Lande stole a mischievous glance at Jennifer who was applying lipstick while looking into her small mirror.

“I am not even going to argue with you.” Jennifer responded. “What is your body count? And please don’t forget to add the number of times you slept with that fine bloke in your office. Personally I will count that for you.” She rolled her eyes at Lande.

“Body count is not the number of times you slept with a guy. It is the number guys you have slept with.” Tinuke’s eyes rolled knowingly. “ It’s not like I am a saint, but  if your body count is more than 10 before marriage, what does that make you?”

“Please..please don’t get legalistic on me? What does God bother about the number of guys you had sex with? Fornication is fornication. Since Lande is holier than me. And she knows my body count.” Jennifer raised her voice in annoyance.

“Easy girls, let us focus on the scripture. God is not counting the number of times we have committed sin. He just wants us to know He loves us unconditionally. And our best response to God’s love is to love him back. You don’t hurt a person you love.” Eguono paused and prayed in her heart for the right words to speak.

“I doubt God will be bothered about the number of times we have had sex before marriage, else He will also count how many times we have told lies. What matters to him is that our hearts are turned back to him.”

“All He wants is for us to repent…in simple terms – go back. I was listening to William Mc Dowell’s song this morning, and it goes like this ‘I won’t go back, Won’t go back , to the way I used to be, before your presence came and changed me’.”

Tinuke stared up at the ceiling.

“Guys, it’s the way to go. There is nothing fashionable about sin, regardless of the name we call it. The point is we need use the musician’s words and mean it. I won’t go back to the way I used to be.”

Suddenly, the chitty-chatty angle of the airport lounge where the ladies sat became dead silent, until an airport official walked up to them.

“Hello Ladies, passengers on the flight to Lagos are now boarding.” The man had been

watching them the whole morning.

“Thank you sir. We were lost in our discussion.” Eguono responded in between her lips

muttering prayers.

“You ladies are pretty, I must confess.” The man licked his lips seductively.

“Ha ha ha …Talk of body count.” Lande quipped.

The ladies laughed out loud and left the attendant with his mouth agape.