Keeping Your Man

Hi guys, this is Ajay on Thursday’s Rendezvous. This is my first post here, and you can guess what it’s about. If you are at work, grab a cup of coffee.  I’d love to hear what you guys think about the ladies’ discussion today. Before I go, remember they will be around the whole of December on Rendezvous. So you can keep a date with them every Thursday.


The conversation over several cups of coffee and cigarettes started as early as 5.30am. The four ladies touched on several topics. Tinuke had jeered at Lande, about the noise coming from her room through the midnight, so the conversation about sex led to drugs, suicide, and addiction. Jennifer had not recovered from the loss of her cousin to cocaine overdose.

“These are things many families cannot share.” She bellowed a few puffs of smoke.

“I have told all manner of lies about the cause of his death. This is the first time I am sharing these things, and frankly I do not care if it is heard beyond these four walls.”

Tinuke, Lande, Jennifer, and Eguono were all gathered in Lande’s room to perform their weekly ritual of gist, drink, and the life. Lande’s room was always warm, since it had only one window. It was also preferable because the occupant herself had a way with living. She always had a stock of wine, and cigarettes, and the ladies helped themselves to a few sticks. Eguono always went with water. She was labeled the different one.

“Guys, I was just going to ask that million dollar question.” Jennifer spoke from the corner of the room where she sat on the floor in her bathrobe.

“Babes, there are several million dollar questions o. Like what is today’s dollar to naira exchange rate?” Eguono quipped.

“Or how much would your engagement ring be worth?” Tinuke had just gotten engaged to her boyfriend from secondary school after nine years since they started going out. She flashed the engagement ring, and the girls laughed.

“Question, please? Who does not need a million dollars?” Lande shouted from inside the bathroom which was opposite the bed where Tinuke and Eguono sat. She had had too much to eat at the send forth party organized by her company for their Managing Director the previous night.

“What can a woman do to keep her man from cheating?”

There is dead silence in the room for a few seconds until Lande’s mouth began to move.

“Why is everybody quiet?” She stood up and looked around the room. Jennifer’s gaze is on the ceiling, and Eguono grabs a pillow.

“I’ll start….Make sure you send him nudes every day, it gives him ideas and coming home to you is like running home to Mama’s cooking back in the boarding house.” There is dead silence in the room again.

“Women have been sending nudes since the webcam, and their boyfriends have been cheating since 1970. I don’t think that works one bit. A guy can only do three things with your nudes; One,Show his friends your drop dead gorgeous  body; two, keep it on his phone and forget to delete when He has to fix the phone, or He’ll masturbate in the office dreaming of you. Did I miss anything out?”  Tinuke shouted while washing her hands at the sink in the toilet looking at her friends through the mirror.

“Number two reminds me of some girl in my office, when I was in Abuja. Her boyfriend’s phone needed to be repaired, and the repairer picked her nudes from the phone.” Eguono held on tightly to the pillow.

“This phone repairer started calling this girl, threatening to release the pictures if She did not pay up. That is gist for another day. Bottom line, your nude cannot keep your man from cheating on you.”

“Have you tried sex? Hot sex? ” Jennifer quipped, and all the girls burst out laughing.

“Why are you guys laughing?” She wondered.

“Nothing, It’s hard to forget Lanre.” Lande’s rolled her eyes mischievously.

“Lanre, the bastard that cannot control himself.” Jennifer snapped.

“But you were giving him all the sex a man could get. He still cheated on you with two of your colleagues.” Lande wanted to make a joke out of Jennifer.

“A dog will always be a dog. Lanre is a dog. I gave him everything. Please I don’t wanna fall sick. Let us forget about that pig.”

 “The point is, there is nothing a woman can do to keep her man from cheating.” Everybody looked at Eguono. She had a different way of looking at things.

“Actually, the thought of trying to keep your man from cheating smirks of insecurity, and the need to manipulate. Except of course you are a witch..lol”

“A man that will not cheat is a man that has understanding, loves God, and is disciplined. These men make personal decisions.”

“So, if you are looking for a man that you do not need to try too hard to keep, look for the one whose heart is always running after God.”

The room is quiet again.

“I am very pragmatic. I may not be a born again Christian like Eguono, but I always tell myself the truth.” Lande stood in front of her six-foot dressing mirror.

“Women have been trying since forever to keep their men. Our mothers did all they knew to do. They cooked, they managed, they kept mum, and our father’s still took to the streets.” She looks away from the mirror and turns to Jennifer.

“Fast forward to 2016, and many girls are running the internet looking for the sex moves, and the guys still break their hearts everyday.”

“So, why is your gaze on me?” Jennifer stood up on her feet.

“Nothing. Just saying we all need to stay off this sex thing. If people like Eguono are waiting till marriage, why can’t we?”

“Sex is a topic for another day. We will be talking about fornication, not sex. Let’s agree today that the real needs of a man are far beyond your thighs.” Eguono’s voice was calm.

“For I know the one in whom I have believed, and I am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto him till the very end. You have to commit your man to God like that!”

“Where did you get that from?”

“It’s in here.” Eguono grabbed Lande’s pointed at Lande’s dusty bible, and disappeared behind the door.

The ladies took turns in leaving Lande’s room without a word. It was already 11am, and the sun rays threw light into the corridor that linked all the rooms in the house.